For the uninformed, I feel that I need to warn you about an activity that is attempting to take over America's youth. This activity truly is the embodiment of homosexuality. What is this horrible danger to America's youth? Ultimate, worst joke for a supposed sport ever, Frisbee.
It seems that few people are able to grasp just how gay this activity is. Ultimate Frisbee, otherwise known as ultimate, consists of a bunch of dudes running around trying to throw a Frisbee to each other. Lets be clear about something, sports are not gay, sports are awesome manly activities. Since ultimate is gay, rather than being an awesome manly activity, it cannot be a sport (I just used something called logic for any idiots who haven't taken philosophy).
Before anyone gets offended, I am not calling ultimate gay because it sucks, I am calling it gay because all people who play it are actually homosexuals. You can no longer be offended, so please shut up. Not it is time to offer the support for my argument before all you ultimate players get too big of hard-ons writing me hate mail.
There are many things that make ultimate the way that it is. But, be honest, ultimate was born the way it is: gay. So, there is this thing called football that guys used to play when they wanted to go outside. This was a sport that one could be proud of playing, it takes real physical ability. Then a bunch of gay nerds came along and found something that they could actually do outside. Since Frisbess make no sense to normal people (the things don't fly in any sort of normal pattern... worst invention ever) the nerds thought this was something that they could finally be better at than those with actual athletic talent. So, in between having inappropriate relations with each other, these nerds created a bunch of equations so that they could actually throw a Frisbee accurately to another person about one in ten times. With that, ultimate was born.
If you go to just about any college campus that allows homosexuals you will see people playing ultimate. Just in case you have never seen ultimate before, you can recognize it by the bunch of skinny nerds running around trying to throw a disc shaped object to each other. Of course, they aren't able to be accurate, so you are likely to get hit in the face at least once by their Frisbee if you are withing 100 meters. Also, the people involved will actually be grabbing other guy's asses during celebrationgs. I think there is a rule that each grab must last at least one minute. Watch out, if you get too close they may try to suck you into their rainbow filled world.
Oh, I almost forgot, a team orgy is mandatoy after every so called game. No, stop your dirty fantasies, these orgies are just a bunch of dudes. Therefore, ultimate is gay.
by Jeff at University of Notre Dame
by Caldwell Tanner
by Marina Cockenberg
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