Because I Watch The View Sometimes

by Chris Richman on June 08, 2007

Because I watch "The View" sometimes
And "Sex in the City"
That doesn’t mean you jerks can doubt
My sexuality.

I wear a scarf, paint my toenails
But so do lots of guys
Like Dave Navarro, the dude with
The dark and piercing eyes.

I love to paint and sculpt so much
And long walks in the park
But since when does that make it seem
I hide in closets dark?

There’s nothing wrong with being gay -
That said, it's not for me;
I’d rather make love to a girl
With sensitivity.

You mean I have to rail the girl
To prove that I am straight?
No thanks, that’s not the way I am
I’d rather masturbate.

To pictures of my favorite stars
From all my best-loved flicks
Like “Soldier Boys” and “Real Bad Cops”
Okay, I do love dicks.

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