Hairo young grasshopper and wercome to Master Kurosake’s Makesoutai Dojo.By the time I’m done with you, you wirr no ronger attempt stupid American mouth mash and wirr trury know the sacred art of makesoutaike.You think furr frontar face bash sexy?You dead wrong stupidosan.I teach you very very basic techniques.

 

1.Crouching Dragon Hunting Fuzzy Bunny:The approach must be perfect.None of this Rittre Rascars smoochy face, I’rr judo chop you in the adzuki beans next time you pucker lips like constipated crane asshore.Approach your opponent with crear eye and face of steel.Then, at two inches, attack with speed and grace of dragon.Bob the head stupidosan, BOB THE HEAD!!

 

2.Tiger Stretching on Bed of Grass:No no no butterhead.Don’t choke opponent with boa tongue.Extend rike back of tiger, brush across opponent’s tongue rike bed of grass.What?Bed of grass.No, knead the ass come rater.

 

3.Feel the Chi:Ret hands wander rike gracefur panda across mountains.They must ascend the peaks of sacred ancestors at smooth pace.Do not attack rike angry monkey.Forrow the chi of opponent and ret them find their own way.Remember, at peak of holy mountains, wax on, wax off.Very good stupidosan.Now, knead the ass.You not retard horse boy, knead with confidence!!

 

4.Channel Your Chi:Control it or I cut it off.

 

Last but very least stupidosan, you must show me you have mastered all that I have taught you.Remember, if you drown in sake, keep your eyes at your opponent’s eyes, beware of monkey steal the peach, many good man farr to hands of pissed off woman.