Teenage Religious Strife

by Patrick Cassels on July 26, 2007

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: Hey, I heard there's going to be a crazy party at Kendall’s Friday night. Wanna go?

TEENAGE JEW: I can't. I have to wake up early Saturday morning and go to temple. I know, lame, right? But I heard there's an even crazier party Saturday night.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: I can't make it. I have to wake up early Sunday morning and go to church.

TEENAGE JEW: That's too bad.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: I know. What a bummer.

TEENAGE JEW: Well, at least we'll be able to hang out my Bar Mitzvah celebration next week. I should be a lot of fun.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: Not as much fun as my Confirmation party. There’s a DJ coming from the bad part of the city, and he’s bringing all the best rap music.

TEENAGE JEW: I’m getting a magician.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: My mom's boyfriend will bring his dirt bike.

TEENAGE JEW: Forget it. I have to be home before Sundown, when the Sabbath starts. Can you give me a ride?

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: Actually, I was planning to stop at the mall and buy a new Nativity scene for Christmas.

TEENAGE JEW: What?! But it's the middle of August. Christmas isn't for months.

TEENAGE CHRISTIAN: I also need another crucifix—to better worship my Lord. My glorious Lord.

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Patrick Cassels

Purchase College

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