Christopher Van Winkle: 3 years, 1930-1933
CHRIS: I’m sorry I haven’t been at work in a while, sir. I seem to have nodded off.
BOSS: Don’t worry about a thing; I’ve married your wife and adopted your sons.
Richard Van Winkle: 1 year, 1955-1956
RICHARD: Oh crap, I’m late for work again.
MRS: You’ve been asleep for a year, honey. You’re a year late for work.
RICHARD: Why didn’t you wake me up?! How can you keep letting me do this?
MRS. JONES: Oh, right, it’s my fault. Not your bizarre hereditary illness.
Ted Van Winkle: 5 months, 1969-1970
GIRLFRIEND: Welcome to 1970, Ted. I missed you.
TED: 1970?! I can’t tolerate that kind of change.
GIRLFRIEND: Nothing’s really different.
TED: Don’t you get it? The ‘60s are over. We don’t get a second chance.
Steve Van Winkle: 6 weeks, 1985
ROOMMATE: Hey Steve, how you feeling?
STEVE: I feel so refreshed. But a little groggy.
ROOMMATE: Wonderful! then the operation was a complete success.
STEVE: Operation?
Phil Van Winkle: A few minutes, Present Day
PHIL: This drive is the perfect thing to help me forget my chronic narcolepsy. I love you, honey.
GIRLFRIEND: Phil, watch the road!!!
by Vince Eckert at Harvard
by Cyanide & Happiness
by Sarah Schneider at Wake Forest
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
The Black Ranger is black... the Yellow Ranger is Asian... uh oh.
Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
I'm lonely.
"It didn't have to come to this..."
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
Parking Fail
Dear New Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown, First things first I just wanted to congratulate you on your win over the Democrats in the state of Massachusetts. Okay now that formalities are out of the way I have just one thing
Recording...
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