Chris is studying abroad in London.
Professor Kingsley: Thank you all for coming. This history lecture will cover the years directly following the American Revolution. As it is known, shortly after we won the war, Britain enjoyed a new era of prosperity.
Chris: Excuse me, professor? What do you mean after 'we' won the war.
Professor Kingsley: We. The Britons.
Chris: I'm sorry, but don't you mean after the Americans won the war?
Professor Kingsley: The who?
Chris: The Americans.
Professor Kingsley: Oh, dear me! You must be referring to the colonies. No, of course the filthy colonists were not able to defeat the armies of the British Empire. What rubbish.
Chris: Then why is America free?
Professor Kingsley: Because... we set it free. Moving on, shortly after the
failed American Revolution, King George invented the cotton gin, revolutionizing agriculture.
Chris: That isn't even a little bit true. Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin.
Professor Kingsley: That's enough from you. I don't know what they've been teaching you in "America," but here we teach you what really happened, not some poppycock propaganda.
Chris: But...
Professor Kingsley: Moving on, a few years later Britain's own Abraham Lincoln made his Emancipation Proclamation, freeing slaves the world over.
Chris: Abraham Lincoln was American.
Professor Kingsley: Excuse me, if you think that you are better equipped to teach this class, you may take your leave.
Chris: Fine, I don't need to hear this crap.
Chris leaves the roomProfessor Kingsley:
So, thanks to the Lincoln, Britain was able to remain the world's number one superpower. Long story short, we put a man on the moon, Winston Churchill killed Hitler, and we fixed global warming. Class dismissed.
Recording...
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