Crimes of Reason

by Vince Eckert on August 10, 2007

Crimes of Reason
By Vince Eckert

Crimes of passion are serious matters. Consequently, crimes of reason often go unnoticed.

In the forest
Jim: So let me get this straight: since I’m a lumberjack, and therefore chop down trees, it’s fine to use my axe on this guy, because his name is Wood?
Frank: I reckon, but it’ll be messy.
Wood: Hey, I’m not made of tree.
Jim: Nobody said you were.

At the shore
Todd: Hey man, all I hear in your cell phone is the ocean.
Brad: You’re holding it the wrong way.
Todd: Whoosh. Whoosh. That’s all I hear.
Brad: Give it back, then.
Todd: This noise belongs to the sea. I’m throwing it back.

In the bank
Charlie: Anybody moves and I shoot!
Jack: Charlie, come on, cool down. Let’s do this like thinking men.
Charlie: You’re right. Look, everybody, we’re bank robbers… so you should give us all the money.
Teller: Of course. Why didn’t you say so in the first place?

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