Guy Who Just Saw 300 For The First Time Goes To The Mall Food Court

by Cody S. on August 13, 2007

Scene: Mall food court. Anywhere in America. Guy runs up to his two friends.

Friend 1: What took you so long?

Guy: Oh… my… god. I finally saw 300 last night. You guys HAVE to see it. It’s SOOO good.

Friend 2: Yeah, we saw it when it first came out in theatres.

Friend 1: It’s a great movie.

Guy: Great? It’s amazing! Oh man, it’s like the best movie ever. I can’t think of a better movie.

Friend 1: Yeah, it’s pretty good. You guys want to get lunch or something?

Guy: TONIGHT! WE DINE! IN PANDA EXPRESS!!!!!! Hehe, get it?

Friend 2: Yeah. I’m not really in the mood for Panda Express though.

Friend 1: Yeah, I really don’t want Chinese food.

Guy: THE THOUSAND CHOICES OF THE LAKEVIEW MALL FOOD COURT DESCEND UPON YOU.

Friend 1: Huh?

Friend 2: It’s from 300, remember. The guy who gets his arm chopped off?

Friend 1: Oh right. Can you stop yelling? I’ve got a pretty bad hangover.

Guy: WE COLLEGE STUDENTS ARE DESCENDED FROM JOHN BELUSHI HIMSELF!

Friend 2: Right, another line from 300. Funny.

Friend 1: Oh dude, let’s get Sbarro.

Guy: Sbarro?

Friend 2: Yeah, let’s get some Sbarro.

Guy: Wait wait wait. Heh… what is this?

Friend 1: Huh?

Friend 2: The mall?

Guy: No no no, like fill in the blank; this is ________.

Friend 1: We really don’t have time for this, dude.

Guy: Dudes, come on, just do it!

Friend 2: If I say it, can we eat?

Guy: Of course.

Friend 2: *Sigh*. This is blashphemy. This is madness.

Guy: MADNESS? THIS! IS! SBARROOOOOOOO!!!!

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