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The Way I Typically Imagine How Encounters with the Cute Waitress at My Local TGI Friday's Will Go

by Patrick Cassels August 16, 2007



Appetizer
  • Order blooming onion with French dip.
  • Make hilarious comment to cute waitress about your anticipated bad breath.
  • Smirk sheepishly as cute waitress giggles at the self-deprecating humor of her new customer.

Drinks
  • Order 5 Bud Lights for yourself and friends.
  • Follow up with fantastic, "Now that we've got me out of the way, what will the rest of you be drinking?!" line.
  • Wait for universal laughter from friends; flirtatious, This guy likes to party glance from cute waitress.

Dinner
  • Order Pizza Burger (Deluxe).
  • Wait for cute waitress to finish taking orders; shout "Spank you very much!" in Ace Ventura voice.
  • Graciously accept compliments on your uncanny Jim Carrey impersonation from friends; slip Sam Adams coaster with cute waitress's phone number into pocket. (ALLLL RIGHTY THEN!)

Dessert
  • Order Reese's "Peanut Butter Cup Explosion Sunday" cake
  • When it arrives, smear dessert across face while shouting "Me like cakey! Me like cakey!"
  • Bask in uproarious, side-splitting laughter from friends while cute waitress discreetly rubs your erection through blue jeans.
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Patrick Cassels

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