CollegeHumor Classic

The Way I Typically Imagine How Encounters with the Cute Waitress at My Local TGI Friday's Will Go

by Patrick Cassels August 16, 2007



Appetizer
  • Order blooming onion with French dip.
  • Make hilarious comment to cute waitress about your anticipated bad breath.
  • Smirk sheepishly as cute waitress giggles at the self-deprecating humor of her new customer.

Drinks
  • Order 5 Bud Lights for yourself and friends.
  • Follow up with fantastic, "Now that we've got me out of the way, what will the rest of you be drinking?!" line.
  • Wait for universal laughter from friends; flirtatious, This guy likes to party glance from cute waitress.

Dinner
  • Order Pizza Burger (Deluxe).
  • Wait for cute waitress to finish taking orders; shout "Spank you very much!" in Ace Ventura voice.
  • Graciously accept compliments on your uncanny Jim Carrey impersonation from friends; slip Sam Adams coaster with cute waitress's phone number into pocket. (ALLLL RIGHTY THEN!)

Dessert
  • Order Reese's "Peanut Butter Cup Explosion Sunday" cake
  • When it arrives, smear dessert across face while shouting "Me like cakey! Me like cakey!"
  • Bask in uproarious, side-splitting laughter from friends while cute waitress discreetly rubs your erection through blue jeans.
Likes 210   Recording...
Share this article
See more
Patrick Cassels

Patrick Cassels

Purchase College

View Profile
Send a message

RECENT ARTICLES

More
There are 121 comments. Signin or create an account to see them.
3,031 / 6,039

Recent Articles

NEWER    OLDER

Visit Our Partners

next previous
BFF
www.hollywoodtuna.com

Hollywood Tuna has everything you need, if the things you need are all celebrity related. From celeb pics and vids to nip slips, Hollywood Tuna does it all and does it well.