Excerpts From Bill O'Reilly's New Children's Book: "Cautionary Tales"

by Neil Padover on August 23, 2007
T-REX: So did you see the Cavefight last night?

STEGOSAURUS: Yeah, yeah I did.

T-REX: Pretty good when they ate that last guy.

STEGOSAURUS: Tasteless if you ask me.

T-REX: Tasty.

STEGOSAURUS: Whatever.

T-REX: Hey, how's Sarah?

STEGOSAURUS: Oh, you know. She uh... she's actually moving out.

T-REX: Oh jeez. I'm sorry.

STEGOSAURUS: Yeah, it's been kind of a long time coming and... Woah, did you just touch my pubis syphysis?

T-REX: Oh my God! Did I? I'm sorry. That was a complete accident. I was just trying to grab some grass. My bad Steg, really.

STEGOSAURUS: Anyway, I knew things weren't going well when she started going on all those business trips with Tony... OK, you did it again. You just smacked my pubis syphysis.

T-REX: Totally unintentional man. Wow. I'm so awkward.

STEGOSAURUS: It's alright. Just... be more careful OK?

T-REX: No problem.

STEGOSAURUS: Anyway she's over at her mother's... did you just lick my tail?

T-REX: I should go.

STEGOSAURUS: Wait...actually. Hold on. I'm sorry. I've been overreacting. Maybe we can get together later and... you know...

KABOOM!

WRAPPING UP: Extinction is Preventable! Go to Church Kids!
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