I never really understood the purpose of an electric sink. I mean, is it that difficult to turn the sink on and off with a handle?

Are we retarded?

Now there are electric soap dispensers and electric paper towel dispensers. Are these made for people that just don’t like turning handles? Don’t like pressing for soap? Don’t like pulling down a paper towel? And do these people make up majority of the demographic? Because it’s gotten to the point that I can walk into just about any bathroom and expect a robot to wipe my ass for me.

I mean, does anyone think of what would happen in a black out, when no electricity works?

We’d all be screwed. People are gonna walk around with shit and piss on their hands, because we’ve been relying on these electronics for too long. Our next of kin are going to be depending on these electric dispensers, more so-ever than we were, that in a time of black, the world will panic.

Shit and piss will be everywhere.

The land will floweth with it. Cars, office buildings, hot dog dispensers, alarm clocks, everything covered in shit! People will be voting on ballots made of shit, sitting under trees growing shit, riding motorcycles fuelled with piss, eating rice cakes made of shit, smoking shitgarettes, pissing shit, and shitting piss. One won’t be able to turn a corner without bumping into a wall of shit. Shit will get stuck in everyone’s shoes and find it’s way into every household.

'Cool' things will no longer be the ‘shit’, that’s just a standard noun now.

Piss will run through our veins, take our jobs, and marry our wives! Shit will seep down our walls, steal our cars, and win elections! The president will be shit and the vice, piss. Your dad, my dad, her dad, his dad, all shit. Your tutor? You guessed it… piss.

And when we ask ourselves ‘WHY?’...

It’s all because we couldn’t turn a fucking handle.

(grunt)

I AM PISSED ON!