A True Man's Guide to Leaving Class Early

by Dan B. on September 10, 2007

If you've ever wondered the best way to leave class while proving you have disproportionately large whale testicles, then this guide's for you!


A True Man's Guide to Leaving Class Early


1. Violently stuff all materials into your bag. If you do not carry a bag, throw your book at the fattest girl sitting within a seven foot radius. Do not retrieve book.


2. Flip over desk and walk menacingly towards the door. Keep your head bowed and do not look at the instructor. You should also walk with a slight limp. This is very important.


3. You are now at the front of the classroom. At this point, theinstructor should ask, "What in the fuck......do you think YOU'RE DOING?!" Stop walking and turn slowly towards instructor. Make strong eye contact and state matter-of-factly, "My dick hurts."

4. Smile knowingly at the hottest female in the room and wink. If this happens to be your instructor, kiss her open-mouthed while massaging her ass.


5. You are now free to leave.

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