(You pick up the phone on a Saturday morning)
Mom says: You sound tired, honey.
Mom means: How much did you drink last night?
You say: Yeah, I'm not too bad.
You mean: What I drank last night would have killed dad.
Mom says: Well did you guys go out alone?
Mom means: You didn't meet up with that slut last night to have sex, did you?
You say: Yeah, it was pretty much a boys night out.
You mean: Yes and it was filthy.
X X X
(Your Dad calls you after class)
Dad says: So how was your week?
Dad means: Did you get a Goddamn job yet?
You say: Oh it was pretty good.
You mean: No and I'm out of money so you better send more before I break your hip and put you in a retirement home, old man.
X X X
(You call your Grandma on a Sunday afternoon)
You say: Hey grandma, how have you been?
You mean: Mom, didn't tell you about the filthy sex I had?
Grandma says: Oh honey it's just so good to hear your voice
Grandma means: I hope you wrapped it up...
by Rusty Shacklefurt at University of Pittsburgh
by Sarah Schneider at Wake Forest
by Alex Schmidt at Syracuse
"Skynet will prove and disprove the existence of our puny 'God' seven times before you finish reading this sentence..."
How can you run from evil if you can't even jump over a fence?
Our graduates are prepared to take on WoW.
A quick, easy way to find out whether or not you're an alcoholic is if you cried at this.
Cyberbullying happens everyday. It happened to my friend Kenny. His courage inspired me to speak out.
Rainbow oh my god!!
ALF, Kermit, Garfield, Winnie the Pooh, the Smurfs, the Chipmunks, George and Barbara Bush team up against one common enemy: Drugs!
Recording...
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