Hi everybody. My name is Alli, and if you're a friend of mine, you probably know a thing or two about what keeps me up at night. I mean, everyone that knows me knows about my deep fear of AIDS, the dark, and becoming a midwestern housewife, for instance. But I have so many more! So please, enjoy some of them at my expense. The doctors say its good for me.

14. Vampires
13. That I smell really bad and nobody will tell me
12. That I have schizophrenia and nobody knows yet
11. PCP in my weed
10. Ball pits
9. Getting shot in the head when I'm not looking
8. That video cameras are hidden in public toilets

7. That I'll break something in my face and be lopsided
6.One day I might fall in the shower when nobody is home and knock myself out and slowly drown to death and not be discovered for days and when they find me I'll be naked, soaking wet, face down and soapy
5. Someone broke into my house and is hiding in my closet and waiting until I go to sleep to kill me
4. Serial killers
3. I am actually dead or in a coma or something, and this is just some weird dream I'm having as my brain dies
2. I have some strange disease no one has ever heard of and will eventually die from it, but not before becoming a medical experiment monkey
1. Anneurysms
by Alli at University of Colorado
by Sarah Schneider at Wake Forest
by AmazingSuperPowers
Times New Roman and friends battle the forces of evil.
An illustration of the difference between sober and drunk.
100% gibberish and still funnier than Carlos Mencia.
Firefox announced exciting new features- here are 5 of the best ones.
He would've wanted it this way.
All the children that didn't get eaten described it as the funnest, most educational field trip ever.
With Every 1 night stand comes.....
Wow just WOW