The only thing I like better than eating at a breakfast restaurant at 1:00 AM is spray painting "Free Candy" on random, windowless vans. Learning the sanitation grade of late night breakfast restaurants is like learning that Santa Claus doesn’t exist at age 5. Does it really matter that the waffle iron is the recent nesting ground to crunchy arachnids? Hell no, I'd like another cup of coffee.
One token of advice: if you’re going to such a restaurant, tip the waiter decent or better. Two rules of life: Don't let K-Fed raise children and don't piss off your waiter. Both the children and the waiter are likely to hold grudges.
Talking to the waiter is fun because he resembles a DUI fool trying to talk his way out of handcuffs. At the police station. In a cell. It’s too late buster, no matter how many times you sputter “sorry” or “thank you” after the slightest interaction with me, it won’t make up for the hot coffee dripping down the side of my mug. Or, reverting back to the DUI analogy, it won't make up for the neighbor's dead Chihuahua lodged under your BMW. I don’t like Chihuahuas and I don’t like BMW’s and that that’s the only situation the two conjures up happy thoughts for me.
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