Stop the Presses!

by Chopmos on October 31, 2007

I was staring at my bottle of bleach when i came across something that will change the world. Resurrect Alfred Nobel, i want that zombie son of a bitch to hand me my Prize in person, because i just discovered...



Clorox bleach kills HIV! Herpes too, but only girlfriends who sleep around get herpes, RIGHT ASHLEY YOU SKANK! POETIC JUSTICE YOU WHORE!
A racist once told me that AIDS was the cure for homosexuality. Well, now that we have the cure for AIDS, we have two positives, and neither are HIV positives! And, according to math, two positives gives us an even greater positive! Everyone wins (except racists, they're just plain rude).
Just a tablespoon a day will keep the AIDS away, according to the research I conducted on my neighbor's kids. Those HIV sores (or pustules, high school health class left these details ambiguous) will clear up in no time. The bloody vomit only means it's working (perhaps). After a week or several of toxicity (not the System of a Down record, you jokester), watch those HIVs dissolve. Either the HIV or your digestive tract.

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