Lies I Told on My First "Biggest Party Night of the Year."

by Mindy Raf on November 14, 2007

“Yeah, making lots of new friends. The girls in my hall are really nice!” 1

“So good to see you again!”

“We should keep in touch!”

“Yeah, let's keep in touch!”

“Yeah, there were some huge parties this week, before everyone headed home. I know, I’m still hung over from last night too.” 2

“The freshmen fifteen? No way! You look great!”

"I miss you too!"

"Michigan State, U of M. They're both good schools. I'm sure East Lansing's just as great Ann Arbor."

“So you met her in your psych class? Great. Happy for you. Yeah, so glad we’re staying 'friends' too!”

“So I know it’s probably hard to pick, but what’s your favorite class? What? Yeah, I was just kidding. 3 Duh, I know that was a lame question. 4 I was being ironic." 5

“No, I wouldn’t have noticed you got it done if you didn’t tell me."

"No, you're not anymore nasal sounding than usual.”

"No, I swear it looks really natural."

"So did you go back and visit school today, say hi to the teachers? What? Yeah, I was kidding. 6 Duh, I know that was a lame question. 7 Like anyone went to visit school today... pfff." 8

“I know! So many hook ups already. So much ass!” 9

At that time, “Mindy is a SLUTBITCH!!!!” was written on the dry erase board of my dorm room door every morning. It was a misunderstanding. I swear.
I stayed in last night and caught up on reading
I wasn’t
I didn’t
I wasn’t
I wasn't
I didn't
I did
Still a virgin

Okay I know that wasn’t really about sex. Except maybe fore the last line. So let’s go to the mailbag, since it’s been awhile.

My boyfriend (new boyfriend) always makes comments about waxing or shaving but I don’t. I maintain it, but that’s about it. I like it natural. Right??

Dear Natural,

Well, if you say you like it natural, then I believe you. Or were you asking me what I like? As in , “Right? Do you like me natural, Mindy?” In that case, well, I don’t even know you so I don't know how I'd like yours to look. And I'm not into girls in that way. But I do like it when guys trim a little, so I guess I would probably like my women to trim it down too. But then again, if I loved you I’d want you to do what makes you feel good and not want you to torture yourself waxing it just for me. But then again, ALL that hair. Yeah, I’d probably ask you to wax every once in awhile. Then again, maybe we could make it a game like, “find the __” and hide stuff in there. I have a friend who's a sculptor though I don't think he does landscape stuff. Still I'm sure we could involve him. I’m sorry, what was your question?

~Mindy

How do you titty fuck with not big boobs?

Dear Titty,

I guess you nipple fuck. I mean, it depends on how "not big" your boobs are. Regardless, I bet you’d be surprised how far a light nipple rub on the balls will take you.

Buena Suerte!

~Mindy