Morning After Grey's Anatomy: Forever Young

Meredith Grey's life is pretty depressing, but watching her boyfriend interact on a date with Sydney Heron hit a new low. Granted, Meredith and Derek are kaput. Technically he can do whatever he wants. But Sydney Heron is like a twisted combination of the Trix Rabbit, Barbie, and Willy Wonka. And she's not even the sweet and friendly Gene Wilder Willy Wonka. She's the scary Johnny Depp Willy Wonka with the huge teeth.

None of that matters, though, because a high school bus crashed, and high school mean girls have invaded Seattle Grace. Perhaps the meanest girl of all, though, is Dr. Hahn. Not only does she have scary orange skin and flowing long blonde hair, but she is a bitch. There are no words to describe or convey her bitchiness. She is simply awful.

Still, she's not nearly as bitchy as the generically hot high school girls who have infiltrated the hospital, who are there to check up on friends who were bus crash victims. Our first case is a pathetic little emo kid who has a pencil stuck through his eye. His girl BFF is devastated that he's hurt and feels deeply angry that she's his only true friend who has visited him in the hospital. Did anyone else notice her shirt? It had a giant kitten on it. And not like Hello Kitty either, just a kitten. Jesus, were all her Tweety Bird and Winnie the Pooh shirts in the laundry? No wonder those kids have no other friends.

Our second case is a pom girl—NOT a cheerleader, it's important to note—who has a broken tailbone and scratched up face. Sloan and Callie are put on her case, but each has a different view of her social situation. Sloan used to bed cheerleaders or pom girls or whatever in high school, and he likes them, even going so far to remark "Oh god, hot cheerleader ass." She's like sixteen, but whatever, Sloan is above the law. Callie feels sympathy that the girl is trapped in the clutches of the alpha girl pom tribe. In the end though, our pom vixen gets her face fixed and goes back to her friends. Obviously she has no idea that in two years they'll completely lose touch and friendship won't matter because they'll all have herpes. Callie calls them "manicured vultures" and it's awesome.

Bailey's first move as Chief Resident includes telling everyone that they can't bring their personal affairs to work. Yet when an old high school crush turns up with a heart injury from the crash, she gets all nervous and excited and can't contain herself. It's actually kind of sweet, because she used to tutor him, and he addresses her as "Mandy," and she gets pretty caught up in the nostalgia. But then he disappoints and screws her over again, just like that fall in high school when he was supposed to ask her to the homecoming dance and never did. And I have nothing cynical to say about this, because I cried the whole fucking time.

In other news: Thatcher Grey is constantly drunk, and when he enters the hospital with a hand full of window glass, Meredith stitches him back up. During their exchange, he tells her that he's sorry he can't be the father she needed him to be. Just when we thought Meredith was getting her daddy issues resolved, Lexy spoils the fun and calls Thatcher a drunk liar. Otherwise anonymous surgeon Rose catches McDreamy's eye, even though he goes home with Meredith at the end of the episode. Emo pencil kid dies in surgery, Christina is slowly winning over Hahn, and I'm pretty sure Izzie and George are over, due mostly to their stagnant sex life and lack of communication. It was about time. Those two were only together a few episodes and already it was too much.

Final thoughts:
Quote of the night: "[In high school] I had a mushroom haircut." –Bailey. What? YOU STILL DO.
Second quote of the night: "You look EXACTLY like her dad!" -bitchy high school girls to Sloan
The smart money says McDreamy hooks up with Rose by February sweeps.
Next week: Something awful happens, people get hurt, and an "all new Grey's event" explodes onto the screen. God, and here I was, thinking I could enjoy Thanksgiving. I was so wrong.