Phony Phrases

by Alyssa Coughlin on November 27, 2007

Sometimes commonly used expressions are just so common that people never take the time to stop and think about what they really mean or how they came to be. Luckily, I have a lot of free time... so here they are.

A backhanded compliment ( A compliment given in a round-about way)
Why would you be mean to someone by complimenting them? Clearly this phrase only applies if you’re British. (You’re a clever little booger, aren’t you?) Instead, it should follow a more literal and practical definition - to backhand someone and then compliment them. Now we’re talkin’.

Cold Turkey (To quit something suddenly)
At the time this phrase became popular, several other food sayings were also dominating the world of expressions. Such phrases included “hot stew”, obviously meaning “I’m going to take the dog for a walk, and then pick up some groceries; be back around 9 PM to watch Gray’s Anatomy” and the infamous “room-temperature asparagus”, translating to the still-popular phrase “Fuck you.”

When you assume you make an ass out of u and me.
Who is “me”? Obviously “you” is the assumer, and you’re an ass…rightfully so. But the person who proclaims this phrase is declared an ass by default. An ass by default. It couldn’t get much worse.

Big Cheese (The big boss)
Who knew cheese was such an authoritative dairy product? So next time you bite into that grilled cheese sandwich treat it to a little slice of tomato first and perhaps even a spare pickle on the side…after all, it is your boss.

Don’t pull my leg (Quit kidding around)
Originated from Lewis “the Leg-Puller”, who consistently made bad jokes by throwing himself behind people and tugging on the bottom of their legs until they fell to the ground and ate dirt…hard. The phrase more commonly used was actually “Get the fuck off me Lewis you little freak before I burn down your house and choke the life out of you”, but was quickly simplified to “Don’t pull my leg” for consolidation and ethical purposes.

On Cloud 9 (Feeling of ecstatic joy)
This phrase originally began as “On Cloud 398,453,592”, but surprisingly enough people weren’t always able to correctly recite this number. In order to decide which of the many clouds should be used for this phrase, a new reality show sprang up called American Cloud. The show quickly became a world phenomenon, and in week one Clouds 500, 6, and 18 were immediately voted off. It came down to two finalists- Cloud 9 and Cloud 69. The controversy that followed Cloud 69’s promiscuity soon lead to Cloud 9 coming out on top...(even though we all know Cloud 69 is really the one who likes it on top).

Balls to the Wall (Full speed, push to the limit)
This phrase upset many feminist groups who felt that it undermined their abilities to “go all out”. They say, “No balls, no glory? I think not!”
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