Morning After Grey's Anatomy: Crash Into Me (Part 1)

Since last week was Thanksgiving and I was trapped in parts of Ohio that don't have high-speed internet (my Nana's house!) The Morning After Grey's never materialized. But tonight's episode was a rerun-- this season's opener about which I've already written-- and so it's a good opportunity to play catch up. And nothing helps me prepare for finals more than waxing philosophic on trite prime time soaps.

So: while it was never really made clear, George and Izzie are just friends and he's sleeping on her floor like a household pet while she bitches on and about Christina and Meredith's cliquish behaviors. Usually Grey's "all new special events" have stronger openings-- I'm thinking of the fantasy dream sequence where Christina, Meredith and Izzie showered together on Superbowl Sunday-- and this was weaksauce. Sometimes this show is compelling and interesting while still maintaining its status as a guilty pleasure, but this week Shonda Rhimes phoned it in. George in a sleeping bag was not the insightful, provocative TV I had in mind.

Meanwhile at Bailey's house (Ed. note: What? Bailey actually lives somewhere?) Tucker Bailey is pissed about never seeing his wife, and they promise to lunch at the hospital. Back at Seattle Grace, Lexy and Alex kiss just before she explains why they should never speak again, and thus accurately summate the relationships of everyone I have ever met in college. But then Seth Green comes in and steals the show with his neck-eating tumor scar and boyish charm. There's a catch though! His artery is exposed following surgery, and the small sutures they have stitched could burst open at any moment and geyser out a river of blood. Full disclosure: in fifth grade I used to writte "I love Seth Green" on all my notebooks because I liked him in Can't Hardly Wait and my best friend read in Teen People that he was friends with Freddie Prinze Jr., and she liked Freddie and we wanted to go on double dates. What? Oh, god. It's not stupid. Shut up. SHUT UP. Go die in a fire, he was adorable. I hate you. JK JK, I love you.

Oh, right. And one ambulance crashed into another because the driver had a seizure. Ooh! This was the all new Grey's event that was advertised!!! Two EMTs are pinned in the ambulance and one is slowly dying, but the real doozy comes in the form of a real-life neo-Nazi. Somehow American History X and Grey's Anatomy, the two greatest pieces of art in recent memory, somehow became seamed together in this historical television event. Anyway, when Bailey attempts to assist the guy (we'll call him Johannes for the sake of argument, because that's an austere, strong name of which the Fuhrer would approve), he insists on a male doctor, which leads the audience to just believe that he's a misogynist. Then when the Chief comes in, the guy insists on a white doctor, and that's how the kitler gets out of the bag. Also, Johannes has a giant swastika tattooed on his belly, which is another subtle giveaway.

In other news: Stan the EMT dies in the ambulance. It is a sad moment. Bailey chooses to operate on Johannes in order to rise above his hateful ideologies. Ava randomly comes back again, ostensibly wearing the same shirt she had on last time. Girl needs to get her mind right and stay or leave. During an MRI the machine inexplicably goes out. Rose used to be engaged, and her and Derek are going to make out soon. Bailey misses lunch with her husband to play up to her elbows in Nazi gut.

Seth Green and Lexy continue to flirt after Ava's return, and she explains that she's done with Alex. Also, that she's very lonely, which is only one more thing Lexy Grey and I have in common. Clearly Lexy is gonna pull an Izzie and get too attached to a patient who's a goner, which is stupid, because she obviously has no idea yet that Seth Green is only about four feet tall. But then after Seth Green asks her out he laughs and his artery bursts open. Eeh! So much blood! Exciting installment to follow next week!

Final notes:
Best line: "My artery's exposed, which kind of limits my game." -Seth Green
Worst moment: Singing "I Can See Clearly Now" in the ambulance, because it 1.) is corny, and 2.) reminds me of Cool Runnings, which I do not think was the writer's intention. To evoke images of John Candy, I mean. Though if I wrote for this show that would always be my intention.
Thing I always forget: Christina is Jewish. Seattle Grace is like Epcot without the wax figures. Oh, wait, just kidding, they have Meredith.
Next week: Someone dies. It's gonna be bad.