Big Dwarf Rodeo

by Chris Mohrle on December 06, 2007

You know what our army needs? Midgets. Here's why:

1) You would never expect it. Why is it funny when you see a midget hit someone? Because you'ld never expect such big rage from such a small form. A Google search for "Midget violence" results in 805 results whereas "Big peopleviolence" results in 32,700,000. Obviously there is a vast resource of dwarfism animosity that can (and should) be tapped like a human pony keg.

2) If everyone roots for the underdog then noone would ever root against the U.S. Right now an Anti-American sentiment of some kind is held by the majority of people in all major continents...excluding Africa, they have their own issues. With midgets how could anyone disagreeon any course of action regarding military activity?

America- We're sending the 1/2 Brigade into action against the Queen of England.

Everyone else- I gotta side with the midgets on this one.

3) On TV and in movies soldiers on the battlefield are always taking cover behind buildings or on the ground. Midgets are so small and hard to hit they would be nearly invincible. Plus imagine the moral deterioration enemy troops would suffer when they saw a whole screaming mess of the little guys charging across the battlefield waving their little guns.