Guy: Merry Christmas, baby.
(Handing her a box) Girl: Oooo... What is THIS?!
(Shakes box) I thought we said no gifts this year.
Guy: I know, I just couldn't help myself. This is actually gift one of two.
(Girl opens box, it's a red blindfold. Her face goes from happy to confused.) Girl: Oh. Cool. A headband.
Guy: Allow me...
(He puts it over her eyes.) Girl: Sure is... nice.
Guy: Ready for gift number two?
Girl: I guess.
(He leads her out to the backyard. Removes the blindfold. She sees a car with a big red bow on it.) Guy: OKAY OPEN YOUR EYES!
(Running over to the car) A BRAND NEW CAR... RIBBON BOW THING!
Girl: That's my car.
Guy: Yup. But check out this sick ass bow! It looks like a giant gift! God you don't know how long it took me to find this.
Girl: Yeah, but I mean, this is my regular car. I already had this car.
Guy: Wow, you sound disappointed.
Girl: I guess I am.
Guy: Man, this sucks. In the commercial the girl was all like, OH MY GOD THIS IS AWESOME. And they probably boned or whatever in the back seat after the cameras cut away.
Girl: Yeah well that's because it's a new car in the commercial. The gift is the new car.
Guy: Ha. Yeah, right.
Girl: Yeah. Right.
Guy: Are you for real?
Girl: I'm going inside, it's cold.
Guy: They expect people to straight buy CARS for other people?! That's insane. I can't even afford a car for myself!
Girl: I know. (She heads inside)
Guy: I'm sorry, honey! I messed up! I shoulda' got you my original gift...
Girl: What was that?
Guy: Keys.
Girl: To what?
Guy: Oh... Yeah. Ah. Okay, yeah, nevermind.
Recording...
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