YOUR CRAZY UNCLE CORNERS YOU AT CHRISTMAS DINNER…AND HE'S EMMETT "DOC" BROWN

by David Futernick on December 16, 2007

Doc: Great Scott, Susan! This Egg Nog is out of this world. My Little Nephew!
You: Hey, Uncle Emmett.
Doc: You’re huge now.
You: Yup.
Doc: I’ll bet you’ve got quite the gouche hair down there, huh?
You: I think that’s a little inappropriate.
Doc: Great Scott!
You: I think my Mom needs some help with the Ham-
Doc: Why, Marty, I haven’t seen you since 1984.
You: My name is Rob and I wasn’t even born yet in 1984.
Doc: (Laughing hysterically) That’s right. I was thinking of someone else. This guy I know. Hey, anyway, what do you say you and I go out to the garage and I show you something?
You: No thanks, Uncle Emmett.
Doc: Marty, we don’t have much time. I have some really good shit.
You: I’m cool.
Doc: Don’t be a little bitch, come on, seriously, this stuff is from like Madagascar or Haiti or some shit. Maybe Jennifer would like to join us?
You: Who?
Doc: Your girlfriend. Oh are you two at it again?
You: I don’t have a girlfriend. Listen, I really need to go check on something.
Doc: Oh you think you’re really tough, huh Marty? You can just walk away, when you please like The Terminator?
You: I think Governor Schwarzenegger might disagree.
Doc: Governor? Arnold Schwarzenegger? The actor?
You: Look I have to take a shit. (You walk away)
Doc: Marty…don’t you want to see my flux capacitor? It’s 12 inches long!

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