1. Pull Out - It takes a lot of will power to pull out during the best part. It'd be like leaving Game 7 of the World Series in the 9th inning with the score tied, just so you didn't have to experience gridlock traffic afterwards.
2. Wrap It - I know, I know. Wrapping it sucks. Totally. It's almost not even worth it right. Like why even bother having sex if you're not going to feel it, but there's a 50% chance she has an STD anyway. Better safe than sorry.
3. Birth Control - Get that B on the P. Pill that is. Welcome to the 21st century toots. Swallow that sweet tart and call it a night.
4. Morning After Pill - If she won't take that pill make her take this one. As long as she's downing some FDA approved uterine destroyer she's a-okay in my book.
5. Vasectomy - This is by far a last resort. They have to go inside you and tie some tubes and all I can imagine is them sticking a long needle down my pee hole. Ouch. Don't do it. It makes me squeamish even thinking about it. Ugh, just pull out, please.
by Mike Birbiglia at Georgetown
by Jeff Rosenberg at NYU
by Jake Hurwitz at Hunter College
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
The Black Ranger is black... the Yellow Ranger is Asian... uh oh.
Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
Make sure you know what you're really eating this Valentine's Day. $('#chocolate').translate({ 'tag_name': 'span' }); !split Illu
It's like a TV show that makes you want to buy body wash.
It's probably just the microphone. I'm sure this transvestite usually sounds lovely.
Recording...
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