I've decided that I am going to win your little prize. In fact, I went ahead and took the liberty of writing myself a check for the prize money, and signing it for you, just to save you the hassle of coming back from the dead. I haven't yet decided how I'm going to win it, but with so many categories to choose from I can't imagine it being too difficult. It is in honor of you, sir, that I plan on winning your prize. You see, I have always been a fan of yours. In fact, I've always said they should call it nobelite instead of dynamite; that's far better than having a synthetic element named after you. Here, I'll prove it. Which one of these statements is cooler?

1) "Hey Tom, little is known about nobelium and only small quantities of it have ever been produced. It has no known uses whatsoever outside of the laboratory."

or...

2) "Dude! Did you see that?!? We just blew the hell out of that city and all of its inhabitants with a million pounds of nobelite!!!"

See? I told you. So I'll start spreading the word, and within a few years your name will be much cooler. In the mean time, I'm also going to work on winning one of your prizes. I was thinking of discovering a new element, but it would probably be just as gay as nobelium (no offense), and solving world peace just seems like a big hassle, so instead I think I'll opt for the writing option. That seems like the easiest one, because I can just sit on my ass in front of the computer writing some shit and eating snacks all day. Then next thing you know, BAM, Nobel Prize. I'll need some motivation though, and although being bored is often times the only reason I do things, this one might take a little more creativity. So I've compiled a list of people who have been more bored than me, and what they did to cure their boredom:

1) Jesus Chris: making tables in Bethlehem was so boring that he finally said 'screw this' and started telling people he was the son of some guy named God. Now he's probably the most famous guy in the world.

2) Christopher Columbus: Spain was so boring that he finally said ˜I gotta get out of here. I don't know where, but I'm just gonna get on a boat and go." And then he discovered white people (Americans), the greatest people in the world.

3) Anne Frank: Amsterdam was so boring that she decided to lock herself in an attic just for kicks. Now she's the most famous female Dutch comedian there is.

4) Mr. Ed: being a horse was so boring that he finally said ˜this is lame' and straight up just started talking. Needless to say, he is now the most famous talking horse ever.

5) Michael Jackson: being a rich and famous pop singer was so boring that he started molesting little boys.
*(On second thought, I decided not to use this one.)

6) God: being the only being in existence was so boring that he created the whole universe and everything in it. In fact, now that I think about it, he's probably more famous than Jesus.

7) Napoleon Bonaparte: France was so boring (no joke!) that he decided to take over the world. Thankfully he didn't succeed or we'd all be French. God help us.

8) Willy Wonka: not being allowed to eat candy as a child was so boring that he built the most elaborate candy factory in history. Now he can eat candy every day.

So there you have it, the most influential people of all time. If that's not enough to motivate a guy then I don't know what is! I'll get started on that prize now. Say hi to some dead guys for me!

Sincerely,
Chris