105% Percent

Issue #45

by 105%-o-matic January 29, 2008


If this issue of the 105% is not funny, it is likely due to a manufacturing defect. Ask for an exchange at the point of purchase.

My dog threw up yesterday all over my hand, because that's what I shoved down its mouth.
-Shawn Pearlman
I bet Slinky Hell is just a bunch of escalators going up. Or maybe that's Slinky Heaven.
-Jeff Rubin
MapQuest Directions to New Jersey
*Right on Maplewood (12.1 m)
*Left on Really? (16.4 m)
*Really? becomes Huge Mistake (8.4 m)
*Take Exit 41 towards We Can't Let You Do This (.4 m)
-- Initiating Shutdown Override --
-Dan Gurewitch
Expiration dates are the original spoiler alerts.
-Amir Blumenfeld
Call me Mr. Seidell. I didn't go to Man School to be called Streeter.
-Streeter Seidell
I just don't understand women. I can never tell if a woman is looking at me because she's interested, or because she's wondering why I'm staring at her crotch.
-Tom Sunnergren
Matchbox 20 Tour Bus
Matchbox 20: Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Driver: I swear to god, if you say that one more time I'll turn this thing right around.
Matchbox 20: ...Let's see how far we've come. Let's see how far we've come.
-Jason Michaels
Grammatical Bun in the Oven
Stacey: Jim, I think I'm pregnant
Jim: Are you sure? How do you know?
Stacey: Because... I just know
-Sean Curry
Click here to submit your own 105%.
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