by Dan Gurewitch January 31, 2008
THE YEAR: 2019. Dale is playing Virtual Boy 6 when Chris rolls through the door.
Chris: Hey bro! Sorry about this. There were so many PT Cruisers outside I couldn't find a place to park my Segway.
Chris plops down on the couch and begins channel surfing.
Chris: Yo, toss me a Zima!
Dale: All out, bro. I've got New Coke, Coke II, and Crystal Pepsi.
Chris: Hey, the XFL playoffs are on. The Chicago Enforcers are playing the Orlando Rage.
News Anchor: We interrupt this broadcast of the XFL to bring you a tragic message: President Howard Dean has succumbed to the Asian Bird Flu.
Chris: (changing the channel) I hate how they schedule "Joey" at the same time as "Studio 60." They're both so f*cking good.
Dale: Really? I feel like "Joey" went downhill after the thirteenth season.
Chris: Well, not everything can be as good as the "Sopranos" finale.
Dale: Still, I can't believe Saddam Hussein liked it so much. Said it was too perfect - just straight renounced his evil ways and turned in his nukes while the credits rolled.
Chris: Pop in a laser disc, bro.
Dale: Why laser disc when you can Betamax? Are you feeling The Phantom Menace or Waterworld?
Todd and Allison enter.
Dale: Hey! (to Chris) We all met on Friendster.
Todd: Who hasn't, these days?
They all laugh. Allison walks over to the sound system.
Allison: Let's get this party started. You got anything good on this Zune?
Dale: Word, I bought a sh*tload of sick new albums today on Pay Napster. Jamiroquoi, Ruben Studdard, and O-Town.
Allison & Todd do a strange "O-Town fans" secret handshake.
Allison & Todd: O-Town!
Dale: I just took Chris's mom to O-town last night.
Chris: Hey take that back, man! You know I lost her in the Y2K bug.
Dale: Listen, I'm sorry. We all know what it's like. We're orphans too.
Chris: Really? How did...?
Dale: SARS.
Allison: Cell phone brain damage.
Todd: Ruben Studdard. This morning.
Chris: I'm sorry.
Dale: It's okay.
Chris: No, I'm sorry. I should have told you this earlier - I was followed here by a swarm of African Killer Bees.
The sudden buzzing outside the door grows slowly louder.
Dale: (sarcastically) We should probably escape on the "information superhighway."
Everyone laughs.
Chris: Can you believe we actually thought the internet was going to be huge?
More laughter. African Killer Bees slam through the door and tear their flesh to pieces.
by Jake Hurwitz at Hunter College
by Dan Gurewitch at Syracuse
by
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