105%

Issue #43

by 105%-o-matic February 05, 2008


Illegal in 48 states. Frowned upon in the other two.

-"My Dad is a long-suffering Giants fan."
-"What do you mean? They just won the Super Bowl."
-"He's dying of stomach cancer."
-Tom Sunnergren
Hank Aaron's Pun School
"I'd risk my ass to challenge Barry Bonds' home run record, but I don't have an asterisk."
-Dan Gurewitch
Homeless people are like squirrels. They're fun to watch from a distance, but the closer you get, the more you just want to throw rocks at them.
-Jordan Linback
When people tell me that cigarettes contain ammonia, which is also found in dog sh*t, it doesn't make me want to smoke any less. It just makes me think a little more highly of dog sh*t.
-Jeremy Griffin
Automobile Owners Be Warned
Used cars sell for much less than new cars. Especially when they were used for vehicular manslaughter.
-Patrick Cassels
Weekly Sudoku Tip
Bottom right region, middle box. It's a seven. You should be able to take things from here.
-Jeff Rubin
Great Email Address
Weekend@bernies.com
-Amir Blumenfeld
Call me crazy, but when I hear my dog barking, I know there's a ghost in the room... because my dog died two years ago.
-Shawn Pearlman
Coca-Cola or Cocaine?
-"Available at most corner stores."
-"Perfect for parties."
-"Makes your dick small but it's worth it."
-Streeter Seidell
Click here to submit your own 105%.
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