Your Roommate, Translated

Do you want to go out with us?
Do you have any friends of your own?

My parents are visiting tomorrow.
Get rid of any booze or condoms, bring out the bibles.

I had a shitty day.
Let's get drunk and eat our emotions away.

Brad's sleeping over tonight.
We're having sex. Find somewhere to crash.

Facebook's your life!
Facebook IS your life.

Does something smell funny?
When's the last time you did your laundry?

Do you play any sports?
DDR doesn't count.

Does this shirt look too tight?
Is this what the Freshman 15 looks like?

Are you going home this weekend?
Please go home this weekend.

Aren't those the clothes you wore last night?
You're a slut.

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