My mom's CD drive was stuck closed. I restarted the computer, and the drive light came on.
Mom: "Oh look, it's working!... now it's not... now it is... now it's not... now it is... now it's not... why isn't it working?"
Me: "Mom... the light is blinking."
- Rafael from Raleigh, NC

My mom tried watching a DVD, but got stuck on the menu. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "I think there is a skip in this disk because it just keeps playing the same scene over and over".
- Nicole C. from Omaha
My mom walked in on me looking at porn one time and all she could say was, "Trey! Did you download that? Delete it! It's illegal you know."
-Trey H.
My dad got a cell phone a few months ago, but he never turns it on. He thinks that you get charged for every minute the phone is on.
-Sara T.
by Sarah Schneider at Wake Forest
by Jeff Rubin at Penn State
by 105%-O-Matic at Bucks County Community College
Owner of a Lonely Heart and Smooth Criminal, violin style. Classic music just got more classical.
Things look a little different when you're intoxicated...
A cavalcade of Hollywood stars give Americans a dozen reasons not to visit the polls this November.
Fight Club, Home Alone and your other favorite films just got a lot shorter.
"The American People are attending Economic Crisis '08"
Through some housing error, a university put all Resident Advisors on the same floor. This is that floor.
The real lyrics are finally released
Yet another reason not to fall asleep in the commons room.