Thoughts of a habitual insomniac:

I don't need sleep. No not at all. Can't you survive on only 4 hours of sleep a day? I know I can. I wonder what effect all of those energy drinks will have on my body in the future. Eh, I'm young. Plus, by the time I need a new heart, they are going to have mechanical ones! Humans will live forrrrever. Oh wait.. they have those? Well, whatever. I still have my whole life ahead of me. Just think of all those cool things I did in my extra 4 hours that you didn't! Haha yeah, thats cuz you were sleeeping. Sleep is for the weak. What? No, those aren't bags under my eyes. Fine I will wear my sunglasses all day, because the sun never sets on ME! OOooh yeah thats right I said it.

(Three days later)


What? Did you really just say that I looked like shit? Lies... I look amazing... I FEEL amazing. You really have to try this you know... Wait what was I talking about? I can't remember... Oh, dude, could I get your notes from today. I can't read my lecture notes... It looks like a five year old wrote them. NO, I don't need more sleep. You are just jealous because I make more money than you AND look amazing...

(Driving to work while talking on the phone)

Hey man, yeah whats up? I'm just drivin to work. I went to this crazy party last night. Yeah, I got the usual 4 hours of sleep. Wait hold on, this asshole just got in my way. Ok, yeah man, of course I am a good driver. Not gonna lie though... I fell asleep during sex. Yeah, I know... I KNOW DUDE! No, I am not a pussy. Yeah, well, it was your sister so that just means SHE'S LAME. Oh... I thought I told you we were dating... Uhhh I gotta go.