A Tale Of Two Cities, And New Haven

by Streeter Seidell on March 10, 2008

New York City: Boston! Hey, how's it going, dude?
Boston: Hey man, I'm good, you?
New York City: Can't complain. Oh, I forgot to ask you last time we...
*New Haven runs into the room*
New Haven: Hey yooooo! 'Sup dudes?
New York City: Ugh...Hey, New Haven.
New Haven: Hey yourself. Sup Boston, too cool to say hi?
Boston: Yeah, I am.
New Haven: HA! Eat a dick, BUTTston! Ah, the big three, back together again. So, what's on the agenda, gents?
New York City: Well, I was just going to ask Boston about his marathon this year. I wanted to make sure we didn't plan them on the same weekend.
Boston: You're doing the 14th, right?
New York City: Yeah.
Boston: That should be fine. I'm doing the...
New Haven: Whoa, the 14th? Hate to rain on this parade but I've got a 5K that weekend. It's pretty big. A couple hundred people turned up last year and WEBE108 was broadcasting from the finish line. I wouldn't want you to lose any tourism dollars so maybe you should move yours?
New York City: Nah, I'm good. I'm sure I'll still get a decent turnout.
New Haven: Word, word. So BUTTston, what's new? Any new boyfriends?
Boston: Hey, New Haven, how's your arena?
New York City: Hey...come on, man...
Boston: What? He's a grown up.
New Haven: It's, uh...Well, funny thing, actually. I tore it down or whatever. I was bored with it.
Boston: Oh wow, you just tore it down all on your own? Not because it was a blight on the community? Not because it was home to a whopping zero professional sports teams?
New York City: Alright, that's enough.
Boston: Fine...fine. I wouldn't have to be like that if someone would realize when he's not wanted.
New Haven: I'm just as much a city as you are, BUTTston!
*Providence runs in, grabbing New Haven.*
Providence: It's not worth it, man. You've got Yale, you've got good pizza. Who cares what Boston says? Let's go, ok?
New Haven: Yeah...yeah, fine.
*New Haven and Providence leave.*
New York City: Dude, you two need to learn to get along.
Boston: Whatever. He's just a pain in the ass. You hear that, New Haven? You're a PAIN IN THE ASS!
*The basement door swings open*
Philadelphia: YO! Shut the f*ck up, man! You're being loud as hell.
Boston: Oh my bad...fag.
Philadelphia: What?
Boston: Nothing.

Likes 125 I like it

Recording...