Your Campus Police, Translated

by Chase Mitchell on March 12, 2008
Simply roll your mouse over the text to reveal its true meaning!

Driver appears suspicious.
Driver appears black.
Sir, you were driving 43 in a 35.
Sir, you were driving by, and it's the end of the month.
I noticed your vehicle was swerving erratically.
I noticed your vehicle had Greek letters on the back windshield.
How much have you had to drink tonight?
Lie to me.
Can I get you to close your eyes, hold both arms out and slowly touch the tip of your nose with each finger?
Do you believe in miracles?
May I have permission to search your vehicle, sir?
Are you dumb enough to let me do this without probable cause, sir?
I'm confiscating this.
I'm smoking this.
Stop resisting!
Continue to lie there motionless while I taze you for fun!
I'm going to let you off with a warning this time.
I'm unzipping my pants.
I am an officer of the law!
I was a dickhead in high school!
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Chase Mitchell

Auburn

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