Celebrity Now

Stuff You Don't Care About But Will Help You Get Laid

by Kate Spencer March 13, 2008

Brit's locked up at home, Paris is in love, and Lindsay's too busy admiring her V to do anything scandalous. I need some skanks to do something! Until then I'll just spoon with Lindsay blow up doll. So here's what I got for you - have fun tearing it apart. [HollywoodTuna]

1. Mandy Moore's mom is a lesbian and got caught up in some girl-on-girl love triangle. If only it was her daughter doin' it with the ladies. Am I right, fellow females? I'd pinch hit for a chance to bat against Mandy, know what I'm sayin'? [IDLYITW]

2. Eliot Spitzer, my fine, former Governor here in NY, got caught up in a scandal this week after it came out that he boned prostitutes. Spitzer resigned, so now we can just focus on how hot the chick he boned - on the night before Valentine's Day! - is. Like, seriously HOT. If only you had $4000. [IDLYITW]

3. Here are some racy pics of Sienna Miller. I don't know if they qualify as sexy because her ancient man-beast boyfriend is in them. So jerk-off at your own risk. [WWTDD/Egotastic]

4. Britney's new video is a cartoon made in 1994 with her song dropped over it. Whatever it takes to have a career! [WWTDD]

5. These three freaks showed up at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductions. One of them even won an award for Best Botox. [IDLYITW]

6.Here's the leaked trailer for the new Incredible Hulk movie! [DListed]

7. Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild predator, has just been released prison. Right in time for spring break! Ladies, keep your shirts on, please. [DListed]

8. Forget Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson - the pair are now dating, maybe, and therefore they're now known as Waaaaaaaaaaaaniston. Nothing says love like two depressed people humping each other. [WWTDD]

9. Jennifer Lopez is now refusing to be called J. Lo, but what is REALLY amazing are these pics of her without makeup. Blegh! Seriously, she should be called J. LOW. [IDLYITW]

10. And finally, here is Britney - my wondrous, sweet, Britney - looking almost human. Keep it up, my precious. [HollywoodTuna]

Spellchecked, maybe,
Kate