Oh man...
 
Lou...LOU! I am totally freaking out, bro. Totally tripping some major balls here. No better way to spend a Saturday night than doin' some 'shrooms with your bro, right? OH MAN. Are you freakin' out too, bro? 'Cuz I am totally FREAKING out.
 
Like, I am huge. Are you huge? I feel like I just grew three feet. Yeah man, I was a friggin' midget before, but I'm huge now. Ain't no one can stop a bitch this big, right bro? Ha! Bro, that outfit you're wearing...it's friggin' CRAZY! It's, like, almost the same as mine, but totally different. These 'shrooms are freakin' me out in a major way. OH! Let's go to the zoo. I got me a crazy idea.
 
Here we go, man. Seriously, just trust. TRUST. Hahaha! I am FREAKING OUT. Do I look huge? I feel, like, at least double my normal size. Okay, now that we're at the zoo. Know what we should do? Let's jump on turtles. BAM! Ha! Did you see that shit, bro? That turtle just went inside its shell. IT TOTALLY DID! I friggin' knew it. I am tripping balls and jumping on turtles. This is CRAZY.
 
Holy shit bro, do you see what I see? There's a bunch of little coins leading towards that drain over there... think there's more inside the drain? Only one way to find out. We gotta go into that pipe.
 
Hell yeah, bro! What's the big deal? OH MAN BRO. Know what? We look totally alike. We're like...opposites. You got a mustache...I got a mustache! And the whole clothes thing. CRAZY! Hahaha, I am freakin' out like never before ever, broseph! C'mon, we're hoppin' in this damn pipe.
 
WHOOOA! That was crazy. I'm higher than a flying raccoon...what? "What's a flying raccoon?" I have NO IDEA! THAT'S JUST HOW HIGH I AM! Hahaha! Holy shit man, I'm goin' friggin' crazy! Them 'shrooms get the biz done right, know that? Hell yeah you do, bro. This pipe is gross, by the way. There's slime 'n shit all over. Like, literal shit. Like, animal feces everywhere. Oh man...know what? Those coins were just pennies, bro. Totally not worth it. Can you climb back up? No? Screw it, let's just go through some more of this pipe.
 
Dude, chill. CHILL, BRO. I got a plan, we ain't gonna die in here, bro. You're just trippin' mad balls. Just let me take care of this. Know how I got all huge when I took those 'shrooms? Right? I am huge, right? No, bro, I am totally not imagining that I grew three feet. TRUST. Here's my plan: I'm gonna bash my head against the ceiling, and the bricks will break apart instantly and we can just totally climb out of here. Here goes...
 
OUCH! Shiiit. Okay. That did not work. I will be the first to admit it. Got any more 'shrooms on ya, bro? No? I tell ya, man, I'm startin' to come down from that high. My head hurts like SHIT. Why the hell did I jump on a turtle again?
 
Hmph. Lou? Lou? Oh man, bro, stop crying. Dude, chill the hell out! We're not gonna die in here, bro. I'll just call my girl and tell her to get us some help or some shit.
 
C'mon...pick up...Hello? Baby! Who's my princess? Who's my peachy princess? Okay, babe. Here's what - yeeeah, of course I remembered. Today. Our anniversary. Totally remembered. I was actually just about to surprise you when - hold on, babe! Just chill, princess. Me and Lou accidentally got sorta stuck in some pipe at the zoo after we did some 'shrooms. We need you to -
 
Shit! The bitch hung up on me! And now my cell's dead. Awesome. Totally awesome. Just what we needed right now.
 
Well, we'll just chill here 'til morning. Then someone's bound to come by and find us. What? Okay, bro, I'm sorry I got us into this situation. I apologize. There. Happy?
 
Seriously, stop being such a little whiny baby, Luigi. We're bros, we stick together. I tell you what...I'll take you on a duck hunt tomorrow. Sure you don't got any more 'shrooms on ya?