Lies I Believed on the Fifth Grade Playground

by Mindy Raf on March 19, 2008

  • Blue Balls will kill him.
  • Masturbating decreases the strength of your heart.
  • The average guy is 12 inches long.
  • If you're allergic to peanuts and the guy eats a lot of peanuts that day and you go down on him you could die.
  • You can get pregnant if his stuff touches your boobs.
  • If you get pregnant before you're married, the baby will come out retarded.
  • Masturbating makes you lose brain cells.
  • You shouldn't go to the dentist less than six months after you've given him oral because the dentist will be able to tell and he'll tell you parents.
  • Touching his balls too hard will kill him.
  • Masturbating gives you diabetes.
  • Only slutty girls shave their legs.

And...

  • Fingering is supposed to be painful, it's just something the guy has to do get himself ready to have sex.
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