We launch into our second episode with a pretty meh quickfire challenge. The herd is taken to a market in Chicago and given half an hour to shop for ingredients to make an entrée. But here's the catch...they can only use FIVE INGREDIENTS! How will they ever do it?! I must be a world class chef because I make every meal with less than five ingredients. But hey, if Taco Bell can do it, so can our Top Cheffers.

Spike, the scruffy 27-year-old who looks like the guy your girlfriend slept with once in college and who you hate to this day, has a hissy fit over some shitty steak he bought. Other than that the quickfire was pretty tame. Wylie Dufresne, the father of molecular gastronomy (cooking with science), is the guest judge and awards top honors to Mark, the quirky New Zealander.

Next we head into our elimination challenge. Now, sometimes the elimination challenges have little hooks to them like 'cook gross food' but this one took it to a whole new level. The chefs were split into teams, assigned an animal (penguin, tiger, etc.) and then told to make foods for a reception based on the foods their respective animals eat. Show me the genius who came up with this concept and I'll show you a man who had to get an idea submitted by deadline.

Our chefs descend on Whole Foods, the grocery store of choice this season, and stock up on goods. Nikki, this season's hottie - but nowhere even close to my girl Casey - insists on buying flowers to adorn the table. I hate her already. In the kitchen resident coke-head Andrew has an idea to make something called a glacier using some sort of chemical thickening agent. Since Wylie Dufresne is the guest judge, he thinks this will impress him. It does not. But another one of Andrew's dishes does and he is declared winner. Valerie, a mousy little woman, is told to pack her knives and go thanks to an uninspired little pancake creation.

I was pretty indifferent to this episode and haven't really found myself rooting for any of the chefs yet. If I had to have a favorite it would be Manuel since he's the only one who hasn't shown an inkling of assholedness yet. I estimate it will take me three more episodes before I'm feeling an allegiance to any of the competitors like I felt for my girl Casey. Speaking of Casey, I was pumped to see that she was still blogging on Bravo! Yet another reason she should have won last season: commitment. Just as I would make a commitment to her if she would ever give a lowly Internet comedy writer the time of day.


In my search for Casey pictures I found a funny fan club site, too. Lucky me.