Q: What is your name?

A: This is your chance to grab your potential employer's (McDonald's) attention from the getgo! Come up with a cool-sounding name or use a last name of a famous celebrity so you could say you're distantly related to them and even met them once! Your employer will be so star-struck at the mere idea that you are somehow connected to a celebrity, you'll be filling out those sweet, sweet W2 forms before you can say "minimum wage!"

Examples: Archimedes Raptorskull, Jackson Matterhorn, Stonewall Everest, Jonathon Clooney, Julie Jolie, George Washington IV, Jack Bauer, Spider-Man Jr.

Q: What is your middle initial?

A: This is a common area where employers tend to start snoozing. Liven things up! Use some crazy initial, like "Q" or "Z" or "?!" If you really want to show your potential employer how you think outside the box, use a full word or phrase, like "Danger" or "Sex Machine." This shows them that you do not accept limitations and social norms and always go the extra mile. Another point to you, good sir!

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: Don't lollygag on this query! It's easy to coast on this question, but I warn you to heed the temptation. Come up with an inexplicably old birthdate, such as "Oct 31, 90,000 BC" or "The dawn of time," so you will appear to be immortal and have the wisdom and job experience gained by countless eons of existence. Alternatively, you could put bizarrely recent dates, such as "Oct 31, 2005" or "About 5 minutes ago," giving you the appearence of a wunderkind, or Robin Williams in Jack.

Q: Sex/Gender?

A: Assuming it says "sex," write "Yes, Please!" Actually, even if it says "gender," write that. Everyone loves being reminded of the comedic stylings of Mike Myers.
 

Q: Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

A: The answer to this question is always Y-E-S.

Q: If yes, give details.

A: Time to make yourself look like a total badass rebel who has been arrested a bunch of times for all kinds of awesome crimes. This will really set you apart from the masses. Put down stuff like "armed robbery I committed so I would be put in prison with my brother, who was totally set up by an evil conspiracy, so I could break him out to foil that evil conspiracy" or "quadruple homicide (for the same reason)," either of which would be pretty much perfect in every way.

Q: What is your address?

A: "Prison" or "Yo Momma!" will convey what a total hardass you are and why no one should ever mess with you. Employers love hiring renegades who follow their own rules and defy authority.