Year: Sophomore:
School: University of Miami
Hometown: Tamarac, FL
Major: Journalism / Public Relations
You're double majoring in two fields that require a lot of social interaction. Which, gosh, how's that working out for you?
Wonderful! Ever since I was a kid, I've loved working and talking with others. I guess you could say I'm a PPP: professional people person.
Really? That wasn't what I'd, you know, expect.
Hah! Well, don't let this smile fool you; I can get serious as the next girl!
What are you serious about?
Too much to name! During summers, I travel to Mozambique to help with some home building efforts through... hello?
What?
You seemed distracted by something. Is everything okay?
Uh, sure, yeah. You built Mozambique.
Hah. You're funny.
Thanks?
A lot of people say that God's greatest gift to mankind was speech, but I think listening is even more valuable. That's why I like talking to you. It's hard to find a nice guy who listens...
Oh, wow... okay... well...
(Sighs) You're flattered but you only date girls in the 10 sizes or less aisle.
I wasn't going to say that.
No, I know. I'm... I'm not mad. I just thought when you called me for an interview, it'd be deeper than this. I guess I just thought more with my heart than with my brain.
Well maybe if you didn't cling like a sock to a dryer, it'd be less terrifying getting to know you.
My clinginess would be immaterial if I were thin! You would like my clinginess if I were thin!
And had two eyebrows.
Now that's just uncalled for! You think because you wear an ironic t-shirt that says "Kansas Kan-Sass" you're some hip guy? How many girls have you laid this semester?
Seven.
Well, okay... I stand corrected. But that doesn't forgive your valuing a woman in a place of learning for the size of her ass and chest.
What's the matter, Regina? Jealous?
Of course I'm jealous! But at least I can see my selfishness for what it is rather than bury my lack of insight with a thick layer of irony and Saturday morning cartoon references.
Well, now this is awkward...
Look, I'm sorry... I'm sure you're a great guy. You obviously worked hard to get a good gig writing for a website like this. I shouldn't have judged you so fast because of my insecurities.
That's alright. I'm sorry all the charity work in the world you do doesn't give me a boner. Can I maybe buy you a drink?
That would be nice.
Any last thoughts?
I wish we were real people instead of poorly written facsimiles of reality.
Me too, sister.
Let's fly to Alpha Centaur!
The imagination has no limit!
by Mike Drucker
by Sarah Schneider at Wake Forest
by Alex Schmidt at Syracuse
"Skynet will prove and disprove the existence of our puny 'God' seven times before you finish reading this sentence..."
How can you run from evil if you can't even jump over a fence?
Our graduates are prepared to take on WoW.
A quick, easy way to find out whether or not you're an alcoholic is if you cried at this.
LOL, this tree is sexy
ALF, Kermit, Garfield, Winnie the Pooh, the Smurfs, the Chipmunks, George and Barbara Bush team up against one common enemy: Drugs!
Check out more comics at http://fantasticgrandpa.com/
Check out more comics at http://fantasticgrandpa.com/
http://fantasticgrandpa.com/ It was a hit. Am I right?
Recording...
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