| Theodore, HS Senior | Ted, College Senior |
| I reek, I haven't showered since yesterday morning. | Dude, I reek! Check me out! |
| If I finish all my homework, I'll knock out a few hours of Playstation. | When I finish this level, I'll knock out an hour of homework. |
| I can't go to Tom's until I eat dinner. My mom doesn't trust his mom's cooking. | I'm not going to Sig Ep till I'm wasted. They always run out before I get there. |
| At prom, I think Tiffany and I are going to... you know! | So I fingered Tiffany for sure at Sig Ep last night, but besides that... I don't know. |
| I got pulled over for speeding on the way to the prom. | The cops chased me down and tackled me after they broke up the party. |
| I got my first traffic ticket yesterday. | I spent my first night in jail last night. |
| My dad's friend is a recruiter at Loyola, so I've got a really good chance at getting in there. | My dad's friend is a lawyer, so I've got a really good chance at getting out of here. |
| I got into Loyola! | Turns out my dad's friend isn't such a great lawyer... |
| I'm rooming with my friend, Kevin, and Tiffany's going there, too! | I'm going to be going away for a while. |
| I think I'm going to be a Biology major. | Look, could you hold a couple of things for me? Just grab, like, everything in my top drawer. |
| I can't wait for September! | I love you, Tiffany. Wait for me? |
by Jeff & Patrick
by Sean Curry at The College of New Jersey
by Jeff Rosenberg at NYU
"ur just jelly cuz ur a ghost and can't tap that"
Amir launches the first aerial attack in the war's four year history.
A funny picture from CollegeHumor