Things I do on Saturdays that I immediately regret on Sunday morning

by Will Riebel on April 04, 2008
Play a 50-turn game of Mario Party
It always seems like a great idea at the time--sitting with a bunch of friends, pulling out the old N64, and popping in Mario Party 2, clearly the best of the series. Yet after an hour, you often wonder why the hell you are wasting your time and why your stupid character keeps rolling such low numbers. I swear to God. I am never picking Yoshi again. Waking up Sunday, you realize that no homework got done, and you probably won't be doing any all day because of the enormous blisters on your fingers from the countless mini-games.

Watch that VH1 special on the 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s
After realizing that it's a Saturday and you won't be doing any homework anyways, you decide to flip on the TV. Lucky for you, VH1 is having another special. You start watching, and then realize that you have to watch all five hours of the show, even if you have seen it, and even if you know you can just see the list online. So you invite some friends over and watch. The next morning you realize that you spent ten bucks on snacks in order to bribe people to come watch with you. Again, you got no homework done. The worst part?
The nest day you have TLC's Waterfalls stuck in your head.

Do this one hardcore workout that your friend told you about
So this friend tells you that he is hitting the gym to go do the workout that those actors from the movie 300¤id to train. Which is perfect because you know that Cindy is totally gonna be at this party that you are going to tonight. So you go and put yourself through agonizing pain to look nice and buff. Bad idea. It always turns out that Cindi found some sweet highlighter party and you wake up alone the next morning. And on top of that you are so sore that you can't even get out of the bed.¼/div>

Try that one Thai place that all your ethnic friends rave about
To try to not sound like a complete pussy, you order one of the spiciest things on the menu. Bad idea. Two disgusting words: explosive diarrhea. You don't dare to leave the toilet all day Sunday, which is really too bad because all your friends, including Cindi, were gonna have the movie marathon you guys have been talking about for weeks.¼/div>

Bang that one fugly chick from your Psych discussion
Dude, I could have sworn she looked exactly like that one chick from Buffy and Cruel Intentions.
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