Over the course of history, women have contributed to some of our greatest inventions. Here's how a few of them might have turned out had men come up with them.
Roomba
Inventor: Helen Greiner
Characteristics: Vacuums room at scheduled time, collects dirt and dust, returns to "home base" when finished with duties, does not make you put down the toilet seat.
Changes Made: Completely silent, cooks dinner, washes dishes. Possible renaming: Perfect Woman.
Mounted Globe
Inventor: Ellen Fitz
Characteristics: Three-dimensional world map mounted on two rings allows for rotation and shows the tilting of Earth on its axis.
Changes Made: We're not lost. I don't need to look at that! Here, I remember passing these mountain things before. I know exactly where we are.
Engine Muffler
Inventor: El Dorado Jones
Characteristics: Attached to vehicle's exhaust system to reduce exhaust noise.
Changes Made: Amplifies exhaust noise tenfold. Alerts others of your presence and signifies your superiority. Optional: Light attachment projects Bat Symbol beneath car.
Handjob
Inventor: (approximately) Mary Magdalene
Characteristics: Apparent rope burns, tired arms, artificial pleasure noises, overplayed jokes about how I can do it better myself.
Changes Made: Female hands made out of mouths.
Barbie
Inventor: Ruth Handler
Characteristics: Long blonde hair, large breasts, thin midsection and long legs.
Changes Made: None. Good work, Ruth.
by John Baker at University of Oklahoma
by CH Staff
by 105%-O-Matic at Bucks County Community College
"Skynet will prove and disprove the existence of our puny 'God' seven times before you finish reading this sentence..."
How can you run from evil if you can't even jump over a fence?
Our graduates are prepared to take on WoW.
A quick, easy way to find out whether or not you're an alcoholic is if you cried at this.
*facepalm*
1.21 gigawatts of dope rhymes.
I've heard the expression "boom mic in a china shop" but this is ridiculous.
I get it, but you tell me what you think it means.
Recording...
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
MySpace
