Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

It is 4AM as of the writing of this rant. My palms are sweating and I am shaking. My neck itches. My eyes are watery and my head is throbbing. I cannot even see straight. The only thing that will save the correct grammar of this rant is the little paper clip that always butchers my spelling.

I need help.

I am scared right now. I spent all day selling it to other black people. I spent all day touching it. I was using it immensely last week and now I really need it again.

It is so cold.

My dog just woke up. I screamed at it in a fit of withdrawal rage.

I need some Grand Theft Auto.

Now, before everyone here does a WTFBBQSAUCE!!!1111 YoU aLrEaDy DiiD GTaa!

This is different. I did not notice how good GTA was until I have had a week to play it. The game is phenomenal. Asides from sex, money, and world domination, GTA is the next thing I think about. I was about to pass up going out on Wednesday AND Friday just because I was in the middle a mission.

Kill the Haitians - LOOK IT UP BEFORE YOU GET ANGRY.

Now I did eventually go out to do completely worthwhile and hysterical things, it was still hard to get over this game. I spoke to a fellow E-THUG a few days ago and he told me how he broke morning playing this game.

I believe it.

Running over old ladies and getting prostitutes is so much fun.

Putting the prostitutes to sleep is one of the most fun parts too.

Literally.

GTA has probably changed many lives just in this week alone. I will acknowledge that I have stayed in my room longer to play it. The shower compared to GTA is nothing.

Church? We cannot play GTA in there.

Shoot, some men would postpone the birth of their BABY in order shoot someone in the face with a rocket launcher. That is just as smart as parents naming their kids, Bret and Farve.

If I have two kids I will name them ass and titties. Or in the more politically correct way, Gludious maximus, and breastases.

Think about it, are we, as humans, completely obsessed with entirely different realities than our own? I mean why are we so damn obsessed with heaven? Why are we so obsessed with learning new things...with going to space? Because we are always looking for something better...and depends on your religion

That is how you will find something better.