Female Lifeguard: That's Wendall Blatt you gay idiot. How can you even tell he's fat, he's wearing a big t-shirt.
Male Lifeguard: Trust me, he's fat as sh*t. Why else would he try to hide his body under a t-shirt?
Female Lifeguard: Duh, it's more comfortable. I wish I could swim in a t-shirt, but my boobs are too big.
Male Lifeguard: Doesn't my nose look retarded with this sunblock and aren't my glasses too big for my pea sized head?
Female Lifeguard: Yes.
Male Lifeguard: I'm a gay ass loser and now I'm going to blow my whistle at Wendell and tell him to stop hanging on the lane line.
Female Lifeguard: He's not hanging on the lane line, he's resting for one second, relax. You don't know how hard it is to swim in a soaking wet oversized t-shirt.
Male Lifeguard: Oh my God the water is changing colors near him. I think he's peeing. Look he's looking around to see if anyone is noticing.
Female lifeguard: So what? The pool is freezing. I pee in the pool all the time. God my nipples are hard.
Male Lifeguard: Isn't that Wendell's mom by the pool flirting with those high school kids?
Female Lifeguard: Yeah right. She's just talking to them.
Male Lifeguard: I heard sometimes they come over to her house.
Female Lifeguard: Shut up, okay? Wendell's dad is probably moving back in anyway.
Male Lifeguard: Sorry. I should have known. I'm such a huge loser.
Female Lifeguard: I know (Begins taking off her bathing suit.)
Male Lifeguard: What are you doing?
Female Lifeguard: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting naked and I'm gonna go under water and blow Wendell.
Male Lifeguard: What if someone sees you?
Female Lifeguard: I hope everyone sees me. Then maybe they'll realize how awesome Wendell is. Oh an one more thing. Sugar Ray is still cool.
Male Lifeguard: I know.
REALITIY
Male Lifeguard: Hey, Cindy, can you come here?
Female Lifeguard: What's up?
Male Lifeguard: I think that fat kid in the t-shirt is sticking his dick in one of the jets again. You wanna get that?
Female Lifeguard: Yeah.
by Derek Walborn at Syracuse
by Jake Hurwitz at Hunter College
by Mindy Raf
"Skynet will prove and disprove the existence of our puny 'God' seven times before you finish reading this sentence..."
How can you run from evil if you can't even jump over a fence?
Our graduates are prepared to take on WoW.
A quick, easy way to find out whether or not you're an alcoholic is if you cried at this.
LOL, this tree is sexy
700+ rivet n washer used so far, two part resin urethane helmet
Cyberbullying happens everyday. It happened to my friend Kenny. His courage inspired me to speak out.
Recording...
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