FILM/TV 307: Introduction to Lost Theorizing - "Learn how to properly theorize about the television program, Lost. Example: Like, what if Jack's dad, Sun's dad, and Penny's dad planned the plane crash to happen? What if they've been working together since the beginning? And the smoke monster could be the remnant consciousness of a superadvanced race (who had four toes) that was separated corporeally due to a large electromagnetic event - known as 'The Incident.' Wouldn't that be crazy?! Requires rudimentary knowledge of the program and a lot of time spent sifting through Lostpedia." 3 credits.

Required: Lostpedia.com, EW's Doc Jensen, Lost - Seasons 1-4

Online course. Meets in chatroom immediately after new episode airs.

BIOL 431: Advanced Blowjob Reception - "Learn when and how to tell her (or him) to: go faster, go slower, more tongue, shit! Less teeth!, Oh yeah baby, oh god that feels so good, mmmm yeah, swallow me baby, oh god oh god oh god, ohhhhhhhh, it feels so, oh my god, I'm so sorry, let me get you a glass of water. Learn proper warning time and how to clean up the mess afterwards." 15 credits.

Required: Penis

Meets MTWThFSSu, 6:30 p.m. - 7:15 p.m.

FR 512: Introduction to Useful French - "Learn how to say swear words in French, to trick your douchebag roommate phrases that he thinks will impress French chicks when he backpacks through Europe. God, what a douche. Also, learn phrases like 'You are the most beautiful thing in the world' and 'I have never felt this way about a woman before' and 'Yes, I am Johnny Depp's cousin' to impress French girls or girls who like guys who speak French." 2 credits.

Required: Maybe a beret, try to grow a goatee, but if you can't it's no biggie

Meets T, 3:00 p.m. - 3:15 p.m.

CHEM 131: Fireworks! - "Watch fireworks explode in the air. Learn when to say 'ooo' and 'ahhh' and when to say 'that wasn't very impressive.' Watch as various professional fireworks designers try to dazzle you. Understand the fundamentals of blowing stuff up with the bigger fireworks." 4 credits.

Required: School provides the fireworks.

Meets W, 9:30 p.m. - 10:30 p.m.

BOT 420: Heh, Get It? - "Duuude. I'll show you some of the stickiest icky you'll ever see. Learn how to use bongs, pipes, and how to roll a joint. Make a bong out of almost anything. Spot me this time, bro? I'll smoke you out later, promise." 420 credits...psh, hahaha! Just kiddin', I have no idea. Like, three probably.

Required: Heat lamps, hemp, Adult Swim, cannabis, eye drops, cough drops

Meets later at the TA's place. He shares an apartment with this old guy who is hilarious when he tokes up.