Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

Just in case you people know, I am switching it up just a tad. I am trying to fit more of my personal experiences which will do two things -

1.It will include every idiot that asks me to write a rant about them
2.Some of the situations I get into are just down right stupid.

Yesterday I woke up at 2:00. I never wake up that late because I am way to energetic of a person. I mean, the black inside me is telling me to wake up at 4 o'clock and chill on a porch or something, but I already used the "darkness" later in the day. Stay tuned.

You ever notice when you wake up that late, the whole day just seems to fly by? Combined with the fact that it was raining profusely outside (I just fucking washed my car. Ugh) and it was kind of cold in my house - it made for a very droll day. If I could name a movie that my day MUST be like in order for me to have fun it would have to be -

Die Hard.

The third one with Samuel "King Darkness" Jackson. I do have some days where that does happen. I mean, normally it starts with idiots that cannot take a joke, and the whole day me and my sarcastic ass are running around in and out from them. I never die, but I have been jumped before.

Not fun at all.

Moving on, I already know nothing is going on today so again, I do not shower. Let us not sit here and act if as we are all clean ungodly people that shower the moment we wake up. I mean, some of you reading this are not showering right now.

Dirty.

What do I do instead of showering? I watch Knocked Up. That movie would probably be me, minus the smoking, if I got a girl pregnant. I always think about if that would happen. I would poke so much fun at the damn situation it would not even matter.

In addition, sex while she has the preggers? I am sorry but personally as a person I do not like dicks hitting me in the head, so what makes you think that an unborn baby would?

So I then move on to a group interview at Zumiez. Lets remember, I was applying for the key holder position and not the little positions everyone else was applying for. Basically, I was applying for the position with the largest male appendage. Not that pussy shit. It was the weirdest interview I have ever been too. It was in a group and we did really fun activities. I was thrown in a group of 4 people that I did not even know and I just basically took control of the interview. I went there knowing I already had the damn job. Shoot, the district manager offered me the job without me asking to apply.

I mean they were giving out nicknames and I made my own.

Baby Usher.

Ladies, go dry yourselves off.

Ha.

Well Sam was there too and she did a great job so she should have gotten the job too. Eventualy I succumbed to the "Darkness" and ordered some KFC Sauceless wings.

Fantastic.

Ugh.

See you guys tomorrow. And remember when I was talking about Korean sneakers?

Seriously.