105%

Issue #62

by 105%-O-Matic May 27, 2008


Writing AND jokes? Now that's what I call a triple play!

TV Shows Double Amputees May Find Offensive
Two and a Half Men
So You Think You Can Dance
Last Comic Standing
-Brian Agler
How Many Electricians Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?
Two.
One to screw in the light bulb, and the other to criticize him for demeaning their profession.
-Brian Agler
Modernized Classics
- The Selected Gmails of Mark Twain
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Fireside Podcasts
- annefrank.blogspot.com
-Kevin Corrigan
Well Educated Gangsters
"Yo that mother f*cker has got a serious Oedipus complex."
-Colin L.
Expressions That Were Used Literally to My Obese Ex-Girlfriend
-Don't rock the boat
-I'll cross the bridge once I come to it
-Don't Bite the Hand that feeds you
-Don't try to walk before you can crawl
-Josh Carter
Worst Parents Ever...
Buy you Bugles, then tell you not to play with your food.
-Brandon Young
Clever Rap Line for Stupid Rappers
- "Playin' hard to get like her name was Dr. Seuss."
- "You can count on me like I'm your fingers."
- "Chewin' on DVD's like I thought they were Baked Lays, I only drink on Tays that end with Zondays."
-Amir Blumenfeld
Jerry Seinfeld goes insane
- "What's the deal with airplane food? They don't serve it on airplanes and it's not food!"
-Josh Kirby
Movie Do's and Don'ts
- Don't tell mom the babysitter's dead. Do the right thing.
- Don't mess with the Zohan. Do America (with Beavis and Butt-Head).
- Don't be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood. Do, where's my car?
-Jeff Rubin
Now that Memorial Day is over I can go back to honoring the troops the way I normally do, by NOT embezzling money from veterans' fund raisers.
-Patrick Cassels
Click here to submit your own 105%.
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