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Either people who write teen movies and shows have neverapplied to college, or they just want to make the rest of us feel really reallydumb and bitter. Here are four of the classic scenarios. ¼/span>

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1. "But Dad, It's my life" Part One

In this first example, the character desperately wants to goto an Ivy League school but their father want them to continue on a familylegacy at a big state school, usually to play football. The character secretlyapplies to the school of their dreams, gets a massive scholarship, and keeps ita secret for as long as possible until they defiantly tell their parents thatthey are going against their wishes and enrolling and Princeton or Yale. Isthere any form of rebellion weaker than trying to piss off your parents bygetting into Harvard? Would your parents try to quell a dream like this? No.Mine would probably start sending out those annoying Christmas letters just sothey could brag about it to everyone they know. Sure, helping your son moveinto the very frat house where you knocked up his mom is something many fathersdream of for years, but if your kid gets a degree from where he really wants togo, he will be infinitely more qualified to run the family cardealership/restaurant/liquor store when he returns. It turns out that mostparents do want their children to be successful.

Best Example: Both Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray in˜Cinderella Story". Come on, don't pretend you haven't seen it.

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2. "But Dad, It's my life" Part Two

In the second popular device, the opposite happens. The verydemanding and successful father wants their child to follow in their footstepsand go to Dartmouth (don't ask me why, but it is always Dartmouth. And the momnever has any say in anything). Instead, the character rejects the easy way outand insists on getting into any school in California on their own merit.Usually, they complain about how everything has been "planned out" in theirlife. What is so bad about this plan? Why do fictional people hate Dartmouth somuch? What does California have that western New Hampshire does not? From whatI have seen, people take free rides when they can get them. Besides, notgetting into Dartmouth isn't actually that hard. All you have to do is be an averagestudent, keep your extra curricular to a minimum, and tell the admissionsofficer that you cannot be trusted with a roommate of a different race. Thisway, the only way you can get in is if your parents pay for a new library. Andif they do that, you should probably just appreciate them and just go. Thereare worse situations in this world.

Best Example: Freddie Prinze Junior from She's All That.Ironically, any sort of degree would be serving Mr. Sarah Michelle Gellerpretty well right now.

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3. "Which of America's top universities do I want C'sfrom?"

Here, a character that has never proved themselves to be anysort of a genius finds themselves struggling to choose between all theincredible schools they got into. The schools they have been accepted to are amix of all the Ivies, minus Cornell and Columbia (sorry New York), Georgetown,UCLA and Northwestern. Apparently fake college counselors have never heard ofsafety schools. The character goes through a lot of angst as they try to choosewhich school they should attend. People, this is not Sophie's choice. Sure, afew lucky Asian kids have found themselves in this position, but it does notmake for a very realistic storyline, or for a sympathetic viewer.

Best Example: The "Ivy Week" episode of Gossip Girl.Apparently admissions officers love people who accessorize.

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4. "How the fuck did this happen?"

This may be the most frustrating of all of the commonly useddevices. A dumb character applies to a random school that is impossiblydifficult to get into on a whim or to follow a boyfriend/girlfriend...and getsin. This is explained away by some secret talent we never knew about, bizarrelyhigh SAT scores, or a very, very good connection. Typically, another, muchsmarter character does not get in to the same institution. The dumb one thenattends the very good school (though they aren't bright, they can recognize agood opportunity better than the type 2 characters can), and somehow finds thepotential and ability to do very well. This just does not happen, and tends tomake all the viewers who are already in college feel stupid and resentful, andgives dumb high school girls delusional ideas about where they will be spendingtheir college years. Sorry kids, that fun video essay just isn't going to cutit.

Best Example: Rachael Bilson on the O.C. Who knew being onsuch a popular show could make a school so much less desirable. ‚