Today's T 'n A - Schenley Whiskey

by The Chief on June 03, 2008

Today's T 'n A - (that's Truth 'n Advertising. If you thought it meant boobies and butts, you gotta rock the ampersand - it's the shift F7, brotha) focuses on bringing more accuracy to the brand that is Schenley Whiskey. I'm not sure they actually even bother advertising; it truly is a lifestyle that brands itself. Often with a warrant.

The buying guide probably involves armed robbery

Sometimes you don't want a 25 year old single malt. Sometimes you want a drink that's a little more accessible. Sometimes you're a homeless sexualdeviant 4 years behind on child support who has to drink a homemademixture of wood glue and kerosene. And its that last demographic thatthe makers of Schenley consider its target market. Well them and college students.

Because that Elmer's isn't gonna taste right...without Schenley's
She won't miss you, she'll just miss your Schenley's
When you fall off the wagon, fall on Schenley's
Shivers. Sweats. Sh*t Stains. Schenley's.
Schenley's - killing drifters so you don't have to.
She's 18 now. Show your daughter you love her. Show her a little too much. Show her Schenley's.
Just because you don't have a job doesn't mean Schenley can't be your manager.
Schenley: A driver's license in a bottle
It's your pillow AND alarm clock. Schenley
If you have reservations, they're probably not at a hotel, Schenley
Because DUI is BYOB, Schenley
Wake up in a parking lot, pants down, missing your front teeth, andsurrounded by polaroids of you posing in front of a pile of fresh mime corpses? You're a Schenely mannow.
Remember when you could feel your face? Schenley
When you read the police log to find out about last night, Schenley
Just like you - on the rocks. Schenley