Today's T 'n A - Schenley Whiskey

by The Chief on June 03, 2008

Today's T 'n A - (that's Truth 'n Advertising.  If you thought it meant boobies and butts, you gotta rock the ampersand - it's the shift F7, brotha) focuses on bringing more accuracy to the brand that is Schenley Whiskey.  I'm not sure they actually even bother advertising; it truly is a lifestyle that brands itself. Often with a warrant.

The buying guide probably involves armed robbery


Sometimes you don't want a 25 year old single malt. Sometimes you want a drink that's a little more accessible. Sometimes you're a homeless sexualdeviant 4 years behind on child support who has to drink a homemademixture of wood glue and kerosene. And its that last demographic thatthe makers of Schenley consider its target market.   Well them and college students. 

  • Because that Elmer's isn't gonna taste right...without Schenley's
  • She won't miss you, she'll just miss your Schenley's
  • When you fall off the wagon, fall on Schenley's
  • Shivers. Sweats. Sh*t Stains. Schenley's.
  • Schenley's - killing drifters so you don't have to.
  • She's 18 now. Show your daughter you love her. Show her a little too much. Show her Schenley's.
  • Just because you don't have a job doesn't mean Schenley can't be your manager.
  • Schenley: A driver's license in a bottle
  • It's your pillow AND alarm clock. Schenley
  • If you have reservations, they're probably not at a hotel, Schenley
  • Because DUI is BYOB, Schenley
  • Wake up in a parking lot, pants down, missing your front teeth, andsurrounded by polaroids of you posing in front of a pile of fresh mime corpses?  You're a Schenely mannow.
  • Remember when you could feel your face?  Schenley
  • When you read the police log to find out about last night, Schenley
  • Just like you - on the rocks.  Schenley

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