Dave: Hey... Janet?
Janet: Yes, Dave?
Dave: Do you think you can let me know when Steph makes it into the office this morning? I... have something for her.
Janet: Um, sure thing, Dave. How would you like to be contacted?
Dave: Oh, here, let me give you my... extension.
Janet: Dave, please.
Dave: What?
Janet: You always have to make dirty comments and I'm sick of it. Ugh, you make me so goddamn uncomfortable!
Dave: No no no, it's a speech impediment I have! You've got to... trust me on this.
Janet: Oh yeah? Why didn't it happen before I lost all that weight?!
Dave: Now you're just... pulling stuff out of your ass *wink*
Janet: And what was that?!
Dave: Nervous tick.
Janet: You're so full of it, Dave.
Dave: It's all the yelling, I swear! It just makes things... harder... on me *wink*
Janet: I can't... I can't even talk to you. This is too weird.
Dave: I'm sorry, but I mean, imagine what it's like to be me! Just the other day I was at my father-in-law's funeral. Let's just say whoever decided to call death "going stiff" needs to die.
Janet: Wow, I never thought of it that way. *chuckles* You've got to admit though, that's pretty funny.
Dave: Don't laugh at me, you cunt.
Janet: ...
Dave: *wink*
by Happy Happy Happy Man at UC Berkeley
by Brendan and Tom
by Emilia at University of Toronto
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
The Black Ranger is black... the Yellow Ranger is Asian... uh oh.
Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
Make sure you know what you're really eating this Valentine's Day. $('#chocolate').translate({ 'tag_name': 'span' }); !split Illu
It's probably just the microphone. I'm sure this transvestite usually sounds lovely.
It's like a TV show that makes you want to buy body wash.
Recording...
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